When a person experiences a shock, astray his habitual protective mechanisms, ways of self-regulation. But the instinctive level, the brain of reptiles, the most ancient part of the nervous system is connected. And it gives him inhuman force and clarity. It acts in the name of saving life, it is in the energy of high intensity. From here, all the problems besides life and death seem to him petty.

When the traumatic situation ends, the person tries to return back to a peaceful life. But what is this life when you are not experiencing drama, but just bad weather? When you worry about rudeness in the transport, when you get nervous in front of a meeting? Where is the clarity, power and true values of a truly critical situation?

Therefore, very many people who survived the shock, faced with everyday difficulties, everyday small problems go to the resource there, in the trauma, the line between life and death. There they are clean, heroically simple, strong and able to survive.

Don't you believe it? Here's an example: "What are you whine for a lost toy, in Africa in general, children are starving!" and my favorite: "That crying, no one died!" http://annanegreeva.ru/? s = that + crying

In the first exclamations, instead of sympathizeing problems with the property (the loss of the toy), the speaker sends the child to the level is not that preferential, but the level of survival and hunger. Instead of accepting a man in his complex senses in the second saying, we send him back to the level of experiencing the loss of a loved one. "

Why? Many people only live there and are able to. We have so many traumatized people, grown by traumatized parents and grandparents, that we are able to survive. Of the values we have for the most part are those that are about life and death, and resources are all at the level of struggle for existence. We just feel competent and strong there. And we svalivaemsja there as soon as there are problems on other levels. Do not manage money-flush everything to be on the level of survival, and there we are! We are able to eat a three-course meal from one potato and a wholesome drink! ) but it is difficult to learn how to manage money. It's on a different level! At the level of planning, allowing oneself to have, on the search for balance to take-give, make a choice, analyze.

A relationship problem? So we will build such dependence there that without the partner it was possible to lie down and die. And then we include the resources of survival and here we are again on horseback: fighting for a relationship not to life, but to death… Instead of learning to negotiate, let go, ask, give, sympathize, manifest. And so about everything.

So it's so hard for us to start living well. Rich, beautiful, with pleasure, interest and cooperation. These are the levels following the level of existence, on them reptilnyj the brain of us for the most part leaves and it is necessary in another way, and we in traumas and survival are stuck.

Work with trauma gives an opportunity to realize the resources locked in it, eliminates a heap of unpleasant symptoms, but then it is necessary to learn to smile to the sun and to solve household on household, social on social. And here you need brain training in positive thinking. And this, I think, is the rare case where all this is appropriate, and therefore works.

When not fighting and drama, and cheese at breakfast and good)

Written by Анна

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