The injury you have developed amazing skills and characteristics. People unconsciously to that you use, and you don't see anything special myself. Because in a place you have injuries severe pain and you try to avoid it, but along the way, ignore their most valuable characteristics.
These skills I met the ability to determine the State of another person with lightning speed (to avoid the hot hand), fast and intelligent reaction in extreme situations (to hide from a drunken dad), ability to organize, organize (when my mom constantly suffers from), skill all reconcile (not parents divorced), mediate (to mom with her grandmother not yelled at each other), the ability to laugh in anyone (to not have incinerated for "three"). I am still on this purely domestic or "specifically job" skills we develop in order to continue to live and grow.
For example, you all Gush from the soul. In childhood it was burdensome to you-know mom's adult problems and secrets, to comfort her, to be able to find the words so that it became easier. But you did, because you got her attention.
Now when thinking about it you feel sorry for yourself-little. There has been a lot of insecurity, pain, guilt. Of course, when someone starts to whine to you now, you're accustomed to, but unpleasant.
Understand, support and pick up your speech is a valuable skill and you could use it at work for their own benefit. But when one thought about it you feel anxiety: baby injured part thinks it now again forced to perform backbreaking for child labour. If you again become those who have no choice.
It is important to separate the valuable skill/quality from traumatic events, child part and assign myself an adult.
Then there is the choice: "this man wants my support once wanted mom. Then I depended on mom, I had no choice. Now I can refuse to man or to listen to on its own terms "
When you are fighting friends, and you have the choice to use their abilities a peacemaker or not. And in his childhood fear of divorce did not leave you choice. Now you can help people find a common language, reconcile them, making this its professional advantage and getting paid for it.
Choice publishes your strong side. It ceases to be associated with injury, becomes informed and useful tool.
Choice appears when lived the most painful emotions for children passed the maximum stage for childhood gorevaniâ/yourself injured. When we have learned enough to take good care of yourself, to meet physical and emotional needs, mastered the samopodderžku.
So, I described the path that passed with several customers and:
1) accommodation of emotions
2) skills deep worries about yourself
3) finding his strong hand in the traumatic experience
4) assignment of the right to choose whether or not to use it in everyday life
5) branch of the stronger sides of personality from the traumatic experience, assigning it to yourself.
6) study its force, learning to use it
7) Self-realisation, finding a vocation, changes in professional and personal life.
A long way to go, but it's worth it.
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