Today-about aerobatics psychological maturity: the responsibility for your own feelings. When we already learn to take it?


Not insulting me, and I feel a grudge when you …
Not you pričinâeš′ me pain, and I feel pain when you …
Not you pridaeš′ my life meaning, and I'm looking for only you
Not show contempt for me. well you get the idea.


Like, what's the difference? And actually, lets make a number of facilitating life assumptions:


  • That pain and hurt is our subjective, that not everyone in this situation would have the same thing. Which means that right now with us it's okay, maybe don't, just pain responds to our past experience.
  • That's probably not the person is busy causing us bitterness and pain, but just something does or does not do of their considerations, lives shorter, might not know that us from this unpleasant.
  • THE MOST IMPORTANT THING! We don't have to wait or when another will stop us hurt or offense that it is in our power to stop this: depart at the desired distance, go to psychotherapy (if it is from the first paragraph)


Ambush all that such understanding stops our game in Tirana and sacrifice, and we have to move and make decisions, and blame was much easier)


That's funny, that sense of responsibility for and Works Act: If me well is I good, and if not, it is you who is guilty.


We often say: I offended, I hurt, I was accused of, I am insulted, but that's me olûbili, my happiness, my oblagodarili (forced to feel the love, happiness, gratitude) we talk rarely and/or ironic, but under some such phenomena in general words do not. Because both feel the love, gratitude, happiness, interest is ourselves, and that's how offended, experience pain, feel worthless is everything "they" are to blame.


When I became itself be responsible for my feelings, I podbešivali those who did not, and shifting the responsibility onto others, including me. And then I realized that we are responsible for what you take responsibility. That is, not on me shoulders responsibility for their feelings ("you're insulting me"), and I take responsibility for their feelings ("Oh, I love you hurting their feelings, I'm bad, I'm sorry!") and it is megalomania-think I manage feelings other adults smart people.


Since then, with me mostly like water off a duck, but grinded now who and how offended, play the victim-tyrant or walk/osčastlivivšej/guilty/omnipotent encroaches upon me uninteresting.


It's like in another room to come out, and there's really not crowded and serenely. And yet I really know and not used. Vyskakivaû sometimes poskandalit′ from it and feel sorry for yourself, but the experience of exit is priceless and crushes me to the brain. Have to use voltage, write to those who understand not laziness, but blame and be hurt/offended/guilty already tired. Although this is a case of someone and for 80let cannot be bored. Appreciate their passion for process, me neither on one thing for a long time is not enough.

Written by Анна

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