When mom is annoying

Take the mother the right to dispose of your life

There are human psychological development in this stage, when he learns to take decisions concerning his life, not listening to what people think on this topic his relatives.

For example, you understand that you no longer want to run on the unloved work and want to start your small business. Parents make sad eyes, snatch heart condemn you, wife of sulking, and all together they predict you crash your new beginnings.  And you still go out and do, because you know, that depends on your personal happiness and desire to get up in the morning.

We are talking about actions that may not welcome your loved ones, but you make, if you think your happiness depends on it. And you are doing it is not secretly but openly, you understand that love and approval are different things. Mom may be unhappy with your decision, but it doesn't scare you any more, you know that mother's love, or lack thereof, from your actions is not affected

No matter, good you take decisions or not, the important thing here is that they are yours and you do not need to feel embarrassed, hide, hide from loved ones only because they may not like it.

So, before human life appears such courage, strength and confidence of others, he runs one of the most important stages of development-stage psychological separation from the mother (parents).

For realization of this complex, painful, but regular offices need very much strength and aggression. Yes, healthy aggression against parents need to start to manage their lives. And we know that moms often are reluctant to let go povzroslevšego child.

Begin manipulation, tethering through false guilt, helplessness, giperopeka, not giving back on its feet, critique all that man attains self, bullying big and scary world "without Mommy" and here it is: "here come you back to mom and here it is:" I told you so! "

In such cases, the man manages to survive all the stages of anger and guilt for this anger. Those who do not pass this stage, waiting and cherished endorsement moms so that they are afraid to do something that may not be liked, but then mad at her, not always understanding for that. They don't live the way they want, live how he wants Mommy. They whole life as would checked against her opinion: "look, mom, I have a good relationship with her husband, right?", "look, Mommy, my new girl-a sight for sore eyes, huh?".

Surely you're familiar with the family, where women are raising children in "happy" Union with his own mother, because: "Mama always said that her husband is not worthy of me" as well as families, where old men live with mom and as a child obey her in Exchange for comprehensive care.

So here's what I have: temporarily increased in relations, resentment and anger at his mother and father is a natural stage in the development of the individual, which in our culture people pass between 20 and 30 years. In his passing really helps to work with a psychologist. Least because constructively express necessary and natural aggression, few people know, so on older parents either falls or accusations against aggression is suppressed and the separation does not occur. There is a third way, when aggression helps to secede, but did not violate the borders of the parents does not destroy relationships, and simply outputs them to another level.

If mom and dad are policies implemented and personally mature people, they released quickly and tenderly watching you. In such a case of aggression required at this stage, you will experience mild irritation and passing offense.

Unfortunately, this is not often. Rare mom are preoccupied with its interesting life more than the lives of their children coming, know how to be a friend, support only when you need to. Rarely do they have interesting work, harmonious relationships, good self esteem and is the answer to the question "what is the meaning of my life", and not: "to sacrifice himself for the sake of children."  But even if you're not such a rare and lucky, you still have to go through this stage, and to stay in it or still become independent-depends a lot on you.

It is important to remember that your anger is your assistant in the psychological separation from parents he ever finished, and you can see your mom and dad totally new look.

 When this happens, you realize that and really have the right to do, want to and feel what, in your opinion, makes you happy the creator of your life. 

P.s. I planned series on "side effects" and "bottlenecks" in this phase, we will talk about its characteristics, forms and feelings associated with it, the difficulties, the solutions to small tactical tasks. Ask questions, tell me how that goes, or you have passed. Let's talk about it!

Used pictures of Tanya Samoškinoj, author unknown to me, Inge Look, Yulia Grigoryeva