People come to remake themselves almost completely, because they faced with some feelings that can not bear.
Made a mistake at work. Collapsed for this shame so do not carry, that it is easier to hide from it behind thoughts. What? about what he butterfingers, ignorant and irresponsible. I thought it would change. He has already forgotten what error made him decide that he will now learn a new programming language, mastered his emotions, Master Wushu and a new way of cleaning the Japanese system, so that never "screwing". and shame for failure in this all rises.
The truth is that the bug in this work task is done by most of the newcomers, and the management is laid for this time. Time to study. That is irresponsibility and other things that the person has attributed here to nothing. But to dig this out is only in therapy, when there is support in the residence of the initial feeling, running the whole chain. Because many of us need support and understanding to withstand our own strong feelings.
This is how the protection system works. One unbearable feeling entails incorrect conclusions and useless actions, passing the acceptance of the person himself.
Sometimes you don't have to change anything, you just need support. You're all right.