From the practice. -What do you feel? -I think …
A young man remembers the advice: "as a child I bother her mom with the same question:" but everything will be fine? "she answered first:" Yes ", and then got mad and said," stop bothering me. Somehow I still worried and that all will be well. And now doubt and weirdly not sure. But she really couldn't know whether all is well. And I don't know. "
And what you say here? The boy was scared, but somehow could not directly about this say in the language of the senses: "Mommy, I'm scared!", instead, in the language of thoughts asked: "but everything will be fine?". Ask many times, because he has not received the desired: little my, what are you afraid of? I am near, I love you, no matter what happened! ", did not receive the sense of security and maternal acceptance.
Often parents do not hear this language of feelings, and sometimes do not want to hear: the language of the rationality of the child it is easier to manage, make it convenient. But docile-does not mean happy and confident.
As an adult, this man first learns to recognize that he feels talking about it directly, and has the ability to hear in reply that he always lacked-words of support, endorsement, adoption. But not from mom, but from himself.
Not acknowledging their feelings, we do not know how we can support ourselves, what exactly do for themselves. Conversely, the awareness of feelings and desires allows us to take better care of themselves, recover quickly from stress and overwork, reclaim self-confidence and tomorrow. The language of feelings is a good way to increase your productivity.
Leave a Reply