Where negative feelings for parents, if you are from a happy family
"Parents are not drank and was not beaten, but I still often get offended, get annoyed on trifles, I guess I'm ungrateful"-many times I heard this on consultations.
Of course, here it is difficult to talk about ingratitude, because feelings are something we cannot control. That is, if the feeling is, that choice offended by father or not, you do not have, even if you're the perfect son or daughter. You can adjust only the way this offense is going to appear, and then partially.
Yes, offended and angry at an old man because of what he is trying to impose its vision of life-it is illogical, but if the feelings arise, the easier it will be to simply recognize them: "Yes, infuriates! Although not drinking, not beat and care"
And once admitted, let's understand: why, where these feelings, children's reactions?
This anger/fear/offense really often does not apply to the specific situation of communication. Most likely, it's just go out and cannot leave the remnants of feelings that you experienced when you were a kid.
With this the children's anger could appear you have even to loving, caring parents. To cause resentment, anger, shame or fear a child need not be fierce an alcoholic, because children otherwise perceive reality.
Not expressed feelings really goes nowhere, they can sit for years in the body in the form of muscle tension, and in your head-as usual, "children's" reactions.
And here's a mom you screaming already in the millionth time for your 35 years: "put on your Hat!", and you become at this point in a girl-teenager and feel the same, old hatreds, nevypuŝennoe rabies, which experienced every time mom its power and dogmatize rušila all your aspirations to be an adult and feel able to take decisions itself. at least on CAP.
The problem is that due to the neperežitogo of children's feelings, you not only nagrubite mom you have and get mad at anyone, giving you tips to dogmatize. Probably, this could be your boss, client, or mentor, whose official mandate is to give decrees, tips and instructions, and this is the more serious consequences of outstanding children's relationship with her mother.
To understand why you are now/offended/are angry, afraid/offended parents, colleagues, bosses and spouse, it would be good to remember when you have experienced it for the first time. Yes, your childish loss need to mourn, resentment lived, to express anger, otherwise they will be unmanaged and neosoznavaemo appear in your relationship with your parents and with other people.
Do it hard, because often we don't know how to express anger safely to others, tend to repress feelings using dependencies or apathy, rather than stay resentments tend often to point fingers. So with children's feelings about being in adult life, it is easier to work in the Office of a psychologist.
To understand and express their feelings for children is the first step to becoming mature and psychological separation from parents.
The remaining steps will be devoted to other articles. Good Luck To you!
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