Three steps residence envy

Envy is often considered negative feeling and the fate of the losers. The absence of envy is credited with mature and harmonious personalities.

I believe that is the envy of timid love to yourself. I though there are reasons of professional and personal experience. With envy in different areas of life I've experienced or now live in one of three stages:

It often happens, if I'm not usurped the right to this wish. So I don't understand your envy. But on a subjective level just feel strong dislike for this person.

If I'm smart, I find logical and ideologically correct the reason for their animosity. Often people even make "profound" analysis of the personality, to find a flaw in his motivation, parallel lapping up yet and its glubokomyslennost′û.

It is precisely this mechanism that I often see in our culture for many people: "is she behaves because thinks this all overpowering," and here's the Pearl of overheard in the cafe on Nevsky prospect: "Olga the whole of it, type it helps orphans, and he just wants to get the role, and that builds from the philanthropist himself!"

This is a large and complicated job, which often must be done in the presence of a psychologist.

If we do not believe that we have a right to want to machine/tiara/dishwasher/family/education, we can generally not realize this wish. It's like a joke:-Boy, and why did you yourself ordered donkey ears, rather than the bike? -What could a goldfish?

So a psychologist can help you identify the desire/need and relive the first turbulent feelings associated with it.

So, at this point, we have learned to understand their wants and needs, but because envy are pure, searing, painful. But! We are not people who have well something desirable for us.

I believe that in order to reach this stage and experience still envy, need to go a long way, to be able to listen to yourself and treat yourself with love. And yet we must have the courage to withstand all your emotions, because you want that now is not the silver. This is a huge personal maturity.

3. You realize their desire to choose, it's wasting their forces or not.

For this too needs a pro doing huge internal job. But it gives fruit:

what you want, you either have it or you go, or you decided to abandon this in order that you perceive as more valuable. And then you envy no one.

I personally know a few people like that, at first glance, they seem to be sumasbrodnymi, the second captures the spirit of freedom, on the third, you are inspired with their harmony. I envy them, I in this matter at the second stage)