Sometimes other react to something in the US as the red rag: demonstrate against us irritation, fear, increased interest. Strong and extramental predominantly feelings cause surrounding desire to comment on or ridicule, hang tag, set evaluation.


In the US, this quality is not bad in itself. However, thanks to the bullfighting in childhood we made another finding: once so many people approach me with this "clinging" mean it is bad. That is often a red rag?


-self confidence
-ability to defend border
-personality traits
-particular emotional response
-money, success, etc.

Case study:



Psychologist-woman speaks out about her beauty casually and confidently, the woman cries when he hears it.



In therapy creates a confidential space to directly discuss emerging reactions.



-What is happening with you?
-You got me you infuriate its self-confidence. No, I envy you, you're beautiful and not doubt
-You would like to talk about himself so confident?
-Yes, but I don't like a lot of things in my appearance



Then they can work with the perception of the client its physical appearance.



That gives these forces and boldness? Understanding that "mine" and what not. "My" is an open confidence in its own beauty, "alien"-customer reaction.



The ability to see when we zadevaem sick of the topic other people only to those that are a great help:

-We do not criticize and not stydim yourself for reaction to us other people

-self esteem becomes free from these reactions

We have enough forces to maintain contact with others, even if he cannot pass safely our durašlivost′/beauty/eccentrical/sexuality/affectivity/wealth/productivity, etc.



Interestingly, if the surrounding painfully react on our achievements, we easily recognize it as envy and don't take into your account. Difficult, if it is the since childhood. Probably, everyone has something that others always bylo"sliškom": too sensitive/many, too stubborn, too sexy, too hilarious/careless, direct.

Separate my love enjoyed accusations of something not quite understandable: too arrogant, selfish, cocky. If you ask what it means, then it may turn out that it is not we ourselves allow, and the Prosecutor himself a little. Due to the fact that both responded to us since childhood-childhood with this wearing someone else's painful reactions to wear, blame yourself for all foreign discontent, "look for causes within ourselves."

As dear to me the cost of a simple truth: sometimes it's not about you.

In my childhood, my appearance is often subjected to a variety of comments, and I used to believe that something is wrong. But commentators had different motives ranging from rejection of their own appearance to emotion svetlogolovoj kurnosoj girl. Just now I quietly accept such comments. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Everything is back to square one: six years ago on the site of the client, I was a psychologist-beautiful therapist, psychologist recently-I, and the client-my beautiful client.

P.s., you Exhale a lot of work to have and use what you've got: success, recovery, self confidence, money, spontaneity and openness, beauty, sensitivity, the right to be themselves. 

Just enjoy this without regard to others. 

Envy-so too can learn to recognize-bestaktničaût your relevance for them resent-will have to become more self-sufficient, angry-take it to myself. You have in fact turned out!

Written by Анна

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