When you care about parents, it is important to distinguish between:
-they don't really can take care of yourself and yourself believe that need your help.
-so you depend on them emotionally, you're easier to take on the removal of any of their domestic and mental discomfort, only it is rather stopped and did you stop suffering. Dependence on parents is expressed in feelings of guilt for what you lived your own life the way I want you, not them, reproaches upon parents and hypersensitivity to criticism. If you are attached to them with ropes so tight that any voltage, movement, causing you discomfort. Why do we sit for so long in this bunch?
We are scared to become ungrateful, but unconsciously, we are even more afraid to live their mind when all benchmarks asking ourselves and only we ourselves responsible for our actions if you arrive only to us. Parents will not release us until we grasp for them themselves. While we were children in their claims and desire to always be for all and especially for them, good. And good parent.
Parents begin to cope perfectly with my life without you, when you yourself/and you can permit your mother's skirt and his father's sleeve. What do you feel after reading this?
If one thought that parents can live perfectly well without you, you annoying it means it's not they keep you and you need while you're in them. It means you have a long way to go.
When such a "caring" parents very quickly regress, we learn to do what could, and cease efforts to understand new things, solve the problem yourself. As a result, I often see old people who absolutely can not solve their problems.
As soon as the adult children begin to live their lives and energies to building their future, parents often begin suddenly delight them in the field of computer technologies and philosophy))
And sometimes not start. And then the task of growing up-allow parents to live the way they live. Yes, many choose to spit on your health, financial situation, appearance. Us from this very painful, but for the sake of avoiding the pain of human nevolit′, causing him "good" is bad for both.
My mom itself has recently restored the password from the "vkontakte" by writing to customer support, vytrâsâ of them even what you want to click and where that type. But before I called, even if accidentally closed tab. An elderly acquaintance went herself acquainted with neighbor, although 3 years suffered from isolation.
We can help if your parents learn how to help yourself. When the stop face the challenges parents and focus on the challenges of its age.
About this (objectives) will write separately.
P.s. we are not talking about elderly or disabled deep, although many of us to be caring for frail parents, but all are interested in how to make it happen as late as possible and was not called learned helplessness.