Experience tells me that when someone from the spouses begins issuing a detailed analysis of the character of another, the case badly.
Often this means that he needed serious justification for destructive behavior of a spouse. The "analyst" feels helpless and wants to somehow explain what other reasons he is obliged to give yourself bit by bit on the altar of supruzhnego nature. "Well he same low self-esteem", "his mother rejected in childhood," her father drank. Any attempt to settle the controversy directly, but protected through manipulation. Then conflict becomes entangled and buried in the unconscious parries and affects the lives of couples already out from under the carpet.
To know the nature and the sick spouse's corn-and over the years becomes inevitable. But if you did make a detailed analysis of the straight, familiar with the conceptual apparatus and build strategy when and under what sauce to submit any news, their desires, thoughts, then you probably why something trying to disengage and escape as a researcher to be disqualified from the object of study. And why?
More often than not, when in certain situations of interaction to feel equal and valuable can't start games above, anyone can broadcast from the position at the top, who head, who's neck.
The desire to indulge the whims of a partner, permit him to splash out on yourself without filtering and self-regulation all emotions, not related to you-an attempt to treat him as a parent to the child. Because unconditional love-the prerogative solely child-parent relations. As a parent, though, and cares and takes also has unlimited power. And in addition to the power-lack of sexual attraction to the subject of unconditional acceptance, caring, and power.
In General, if the hands he wanted something in the behavior of a partner explain severe childhood and toys, pribitymi to the ceiling, look for where you don't deal with him as an equal. You probably somewhere hard to admit that it causes you pain. Scary look this pain in the eye, to understand where it came from or what you can do with it.
Sometimes this pain-heritage your own ceiling and toy partner accidentally touched and sometimes that the partner chooses to cause you pain, and then solving the problem will require a lot of effort.