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Live as I want

Why are you still not doing what I want and live not in the way I want to?   As well, quickly threw the Office went to travel, earning online, describing everything in via instagram! Nu-Ka nakachala urgently priest, took up yoga, weigh 40 kg, otrastila spit to the waist, gave birth to 5 children… Read more »

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Find or what is wrong with your surroundings?

Imagine you are standing in front of the mirror, and see your reflection everywhere very clearly, but here's one piece of mirror zamutnen. And no matter how you kept circling in front of the mirror, this part of my reflection does not see. What feelings would arise? Irritation? "Foolish mirror cannot show me holistically!" anxiety?… Read more »

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Needless to say with a friend about his grudge

Needless to say a friend that his behavior hurt you? What if you're wrong, and take offense at this wrong? You have a right to your feelings, including discomfort from prying action. Recognize that it is Your discomfort may be associated with the actions of another, but no result. For example, a teacher at the… Read more »

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Wine and provocation of aggression

Describe schema many quarrels in which one partner if "begging" the aggression of the second. One causes the real or imaginary damage other unintentionally, random misstep. Feels guilty. From the zashkalivajushhego guilt and unconscious desire to be punished, he makes involuntary their behavior demonstrative. For example, because the work began later gather at the concert… Read more »

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When parents are unhappy with

The internal confrontation with parents of adult children is exhausted. Even if they have long understood that their lives are responsible for themselves, make decisions without thinking about mom and dad. They do differently, but under the yoke of parental disapproval, spoken or shown constantly, they be still tough. This delayed attention to permanent condition… Read more »

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Clever but unrealized. How to be?

That prevents people with high intelligence realize their full potential? Often see the same mechanism that now describe. It's a wise child gets approval and praise for their thoughts. If he has little feeling that it is valuable in itself and enjoy significant adults and in its other manifestations, he clings to his intellect as… Read more »

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The aggression of the elderly

The elderly accuse offended accuse. Elders condemn, lecture, manipulated. Old people burn out anger and demonstrations of eerie nature. Old people just don't know what to do with anger and despair on what their body loses opportunities and health, that they are less aware society. Old people are mad at his old age and feebleness,… Read more »

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"He's such a vulnerable!"

Experience tells me that when someone from the spouses begins issuing a detailed analysis of the character of another, the case badly. Often this means that he needed serious justification for destructive behavior of a spouse. The "analyst" feels helpless and wants to somehow explain what other reasons he is obliged to give yourself bit… Read more »

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Part 3. About anger, from which you can get rid of

There is another special mechanism of anger, inadequate situation-screwing on yourself. This argument when we go so far as to begin to get angry. And this disc can twist eternally! Sometimes we twist it out of habit, sometimes because the real cause of the anger cannot recognize, she sits deep inside and pushes at the… Read more »

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Part 2. About anger and redemption destroying relationships

Part 2 Anger happens when situational infringed your interests have been violated by the psychological border. It also occurs when we are prevented from doing what we have begun. These are two natural mechanism, they are all peoples of the world. Scientist Paul Ekman fact witness. In these two cases, the anger is adequate to… Read more »

  • Part 1. About anger: how not to appear on the scorched earth?

    Part 1 Anger is an emotion we inherited from our evolutionary ancestors. We cannot control the occurrence of anger. So all these stories about angry parents (children, husbands, friends, brothers and sisters) Sin-inflated moral requirements that cannot be matched. The discrepancy raises a sense of guilt, and a man in the sense of guilt is… Read more »

  • Unrealistic expectations and procrastination

    Unrealistic their claims is difficult to recognize because it often serves the unrealistic ideas about the self: I am cool and my ambitions, goals in life, too, must be enormous. "If I can't achieve something grandiose, it means I'm not a grand" Unrealistic expectations are causing so much anxiety that paralyze us in achieving smaller… Read more »

  • Self-sabotage

    The effectiveness of any activity begins when we cease to serve its own neurosis, nature, children's needs-how do you want to call. Here's take the saucepan. It should be washed. If we are hungry, we have pasta, and we want the pasta for lunch, we just my crock pot and cook their own meals. If… Read more »

  • Responsibilities in a pair

    When people cannot care for themselves, they share household responsibilities: it is him, he Pats shirt kopm cleans. And altruistically type: "Wow, all in the family" And when one does not perform such duties, the other turns out to be deprived of something very important for him. He grudges, vpadanie sacrifice, guilt manipulation. The first… Read more »

  • Right to their vitality

    You have a right to their resources. Imagine a circle around himself. Inside this circle of your emotions, thoughts, needs, capabilities to satisfy them: your time, money, effort, ability, things, relationships. All that is generated by your activities and everything that represents and nourishes your vitality. Submitted? So here. You have the right to use… Read more »

  • Ideal for you. The story of one therapy

    Sometimes I want to shout: "be hell, either! If! Any anything! ". I do not need the reflection of me. I need you! We are very different, I want to get in touch with you, what you are. You're so long studied all please you now a thousand persons. One of them is mine. I… Read more »

  • "Lethal weapons". Shortcuts and ecology in psychotherapy

    Lethal weapons. lethal weapons that lethal weapons is. New pancake term poked in his popular articles by psychologists. With detached so descriptively separately: "lethal weapons borders do not feel" lethal weapons "normally.", "travmatikam" it is peculiar. I see no reason to use this word in the posts for clients. Well not write so indiscriminately about… Read more »

  • About the failure and rejection

    Failure-a great tool to get rid of constant in its toxicity people. When you ask not to do more as hurt you, and the person cannot or does not want to deal with your request. Another failure helps in a heap of different cases: when people are uninteresting, but admit it to yourself don't want… Read more »

  • Hidden abilities and trauma

    The injury you have developed amazing skills and characteristics. People unconsciously to that you use, and you don't see anything special myself. Because in a place you have injuries severe pain and you try to avoid it, but along the way, ignore their most valuable characteristics. These skills I met the ability to determine the… Read more »

  • Stage experience trauma "Why me?"

    In experiencing the effects of psychological trauma is such a moment, which I myself call "elucidation of the relationship with God".   This is when a person asks the question "why did this happen with me?". Replying to him, people choose most often one of the following options: 1) it's because I'm wrong (shame) and… Read more »